The Browns are like an ugly High school boy

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The Browns are like that fifteen year old boy in High school who is kinda ugly, doesn’t have much personality, smells bad and yet somehow manages to be the guy who dumps the girl who just may have been right for him. The girl just wasn’t quite sexy enough for this ugly smelly dude and he is confident he can do better. Then the picky idiot discovers that he’s not as popular as he thought and that his not quite sexy girlfriend was probably his best chance at happiness. Now he’s stuck without the girl who had a lot of potential, he has gained a bad reputation among the ladies and well…he’s still ugly, dumb and stinky.

Okay, so maybe that’s the weirdest way anyone could possibly try to describe the Cleveland Browns and their head coaching issues but I’ve heard it all so many times the same way I had to try something different. The Minnesota Vikings hired Mike Zimmer as their head coach today and that leaves the dumb, ugly, stinky Browns as the only team in the NFL without a head coach. The eyes of the football world are all staring this way and even under minor scrutiny this team just looks…dumb.

The Browns look like they have no idea what they’re doing and appear to have had no plan for what to do after they fired Rob Chudzinski after his one and done year in C town. I wonder if Cleveland could take Chud back right now if they would and let him actually attempt to finish his rebuild of the team. Sadly, that’s not really an option and the team will mumble and bumble it’s way around until they make some decision (likely a bad one) on a head coach.

Rumors lately have been that they are hot on Denver Broncos’ OC, Adam Gase, but they can’t interview him while the Broncos are still alive in the playoffs. Which means that if the Broncos win Sunday and head to the Superbowl, the Browns won’t have a coach until mid February at earliest. There are also some rumors that former Tampa Bay Buccaneers HC, Greg Schiano, has been thrown in the hat as a guy who could work in Cleveland. Fans have not taken well to that being the answer to the team’s indecision and if you search Twitter for a minute or two you will find many Tweets like this one:

Ahhh, feels good to be the laughing stock of the sports world…said nobody ever… So, maybe Chudzinski wasn’t the sexy hire but he was solid and steady and just possibly could have been the answer if given the chance. Now other dumb ugly teams (and all the good looking teams) should learn that you never ever dump someone just because you just might be able to find someone a little bit better. As the saying goes, ‘if it ain’t broke don’t fix it’. Sadly, it’s the Browns as an organization that looks broken, ugly and dumb. 

Check out Eric “Caveman” Johnson’s thoughts on who the Browns may pick as their next head coach.


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