Cancel the rest of the Combine! We have the St. Louis Rams’ draft figured out


I did it everyone. Cancel your mock drafts and don’t even bother watching the rest of the combine. I watched it all day yesterday and figured out what the Rams should do with their first few picks in May’s draft. It’s both realistic and possible and can immediately make this team a next-level competitor. It’s so simple:


That’s right. Draft all the receivers. It’s the perfect plan. I’m no general manager by any means, but I think my credentials are close enough. I have two seasons of public high school JV football experience and one as a varsity “utility” offensive lineman. Basically, I watched a lot of games from a pristine spot on the sideline. A lot closer vantage point than the average Joe, I think. And that was eight whole years ago! Just multiply my original football knowledge times eight and what do you get? A hundred, that’s what. Also, I watch football on TV. Like…TONS. Professional AND college. Sometimes even the weirdo European kind. Basically, I know what I’m talking about.

With that said, after watching the receivers work out at the combine yesterday, it’s so obvious that the Rams should dedicate AT LEAST their first three picks to wide receivers in May. Just imagine: head coach Jeff Fisher and general manager Les Snead select Clemson’s Sammy Watkins at no. 2 overall (or a few picks later, should they trade out of the spot – even better!), then use pick no. 13 on Texas A&M’s Mike Evans. USC’s Marqise Lee and Oregon State’s Brandin Cooks likely get selected as the rest of the first round progresses, and both LSU’s Odell Beckham and Florida State’s Kelvin Benjamin probably go as well. By the time the Rams select in round two at 44th overall, they shock the world and go receiver again by adding Vanderbilt’s Jordan Matthews. WHOA.

At this point, Mel Kiper’s bolts are sparking and Todd McShay is speechless and Chris Berman’s all “I ACTUALLY CAN’T BELIEVE WHAT I JUST SAW” and black becomes white, up becomes down, etc. With all the conjecture over whether to select Watkins or Evans or wait until later in the draft and try to uncover a gem, why not reduce the risk and just draft all three?

I know what you’re saying. Don’t the Rams also need to make offensive line depth a major priority? Hmm, maybe.

Don’t they also need to shore up the secondary and add a cornerback or safety? Eh, perhaps.

And isn’t it a bit reckless to use the team’s first three picks solely on wide receivers? THAT’S IT. SORRY. I JUST CAN’T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF MIKE EVANS’ COMBINATION OF SIZE AND SPEED.

Ok, fine. How, then, will the team incorporate the likes of Watkins, Evans, and Matthews into their incumbent batch of young receivers? Easy. The addition of these top three prospects to the group of Tavon Austin, Stedman Bailey, Austin Pettis, Chris Givens, and Brian Quick makes for the training camp position battle of our generation. Ultimately the team keeps the top six players at receiver, while Pettis and Quick are converted to either safety or offensive guard, depending on who’s fatter. Just go with it.

Then, with their corps of six receivers in place, a healthy Sam Bradford, and an on-the-rise running back in Zac Stacy, it’s immediately time for “The Greatest Show on Turf 2: Even Greatester.” Offensive coordinator Brian Schottenheimer trims the offensive line down to three members – left tackle Jake Long, newly converted center Rodger Saffold, and right guard in-training Austin Pettis – and lets his wildly diverse batch of receivers do their thing with an innovative playlist full of six-wide sets. Bradford finally has the offense full of weapons that he has very much lacked in his first four seasons, and the sky is the proverbial limit.

We can also look back at the history books for some added guidance in this crazy decision. In the modern draft era (1970-present day), the Rams have used all their draft picks on wide receivers in a single year exactly zero times. In that same time span, they’ve also had zero undefeated seasons. Coincidence? Maybe, but maybe not.

No matter what happens in May’s draft, there is one thing we can all agree on: Austin Pettis is definitely going to make an awesome guard.

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  • Rams_Sence_1956

    Why did you waste your time telling us who you are?? By just your thoughts we could have figured out how STUIPD you are!!!!

    • Spencer Engel

      As Ted himself likes to say, the universe just exploded in irony when you called Ted “STUIPD.” Also, you apparently have a sense of humor on par with Kanye West, so congratulations on that.

  • cb

    Thanks Ted. Big Rams fan and thought this was hilarious. Rams_Sence needs to lighten up.

  • Ray M

    That was the best laugh I’ve had all week.

  • Ted

    Appreciate it everyone. Rams_Sence, I’ll get a laugh out of you next time.

  • David

    Now that is funny right there. I needed that. thanks Ted