You suck, and John Kuhn is amazing

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I keep seeing opinions on John Kuhn and I use the word “opinion” very loosely; it’s really just a bunch of morons sputtering out sentence fragments and using absolutely no logical analysis whatsoever. That’s easily the most infuriating thing in the world to me. If you’re going to bother having an opinion then you should at least take the time to think it through first. Maybe (discount) double-check to make sure you aren’t one of the morons.

Here’s an example of the easy argument without analysis garbage that I keep reading:
‘John Kuhn was a real good football player, but the Packers can’t afford to pay a 31-year-old a ton of money just because he made one block. He barely even touches the ball anymore!”

Wow, where do we go from here. Well, for starters Kuhn still is a tremendous football player, and as for the notion of a decline – he had the highest yards per carry average of his career as a Packer last year and had just two fewer receptions (13) than he had in each of the three previous seasons. It might be a little early to be clamoring for his departure.

Kuhn had the sixth most carries by a fullback in the NFL in 2013. That being said, the two players atop the list are All-Pro running backs Marcel Reece and Mike Tolbert who barely qualify as fullbacks anyway, considering how much they line up at tailback and how infrequently they are used as blockers. Those players included, Pro Football Focus still ranked Kuhn as the third best fullback in the league. I’m not sure what people expect out of the fullback position, particularly Packers fans, but this isn’t the Lombardi era – fullbacks typically don’t touch the ball. Anybody who expects John Kuhn to touch the ball as many times as he did in 2010 has lost their marbles. The only reason Kuhn had 84 carries that year was because everybody else was hurt. Granted, he did a great job, but he is still more valuable as a blocker.

Once the simple minded football rookies can get their little minds wrapped around what a fullback’s actual job is they can understand that a fullback’s primary responsibility is to block, which Kuhn is very good at. The ‘he made one block’ argument is complete trash. One block? Oh you mean the block that saved our season? You mean the one block you managed to pay attention to the whole screen for one play? And how is that block being used against him? IT SAVED OUR SEASON. IT WAS AS CLUTCH AS BLOCKING GETS. But, let’s dig a little deeper since some of you don’t seem to understand the importance of blocking.

In 2013 Kuhn was perfect in pass protection (including the playoff-clinching block of course) and he did not allow a sack or a quarterback hit all season; no other fullback – or lineman for that matter – that played as many snaps as Kuhn, can lay claim to the same statement. If you think John Kuhn is dispensable, I think you’re an absolute doofus – you’re probably the same idiot who was pissed at Aaron Rodgers for ‘stealing Brett Favre’s job’ which of course is moronic and completely baseless and only an ‘opinion’ because you don’t have the capacity to decipher reality.

Oh, and as for your “he’s overpaid” argument – again, you’re wrong. Now that you know he’s the best pass-blocker in football you probably have a figure on how much he should be paid in your head; maybe somewhere near five million dollars. Kuhn had a base salary of $1.8 million last year and with performance incentive bonuses and his signing bonus earned another $800,000; $2.6 million is pretty cheap for the best pass blocker in football now, isn’t it? Comparatively, fullbacks Mike Tolbert and Marcel Reece (the only two ranked higher than Kuhn on PFF) earned $3.35 million and $3.98 million respectively, and while they may bring more to the table as runners, mostly because they got more opportunities, they are liabilities as blockers in comparison to Kuhn. Now take into consideration his age. Kuhn knows this is his last chance at a decent contract and he also knows he won’t get any more than he did in his last contract due to his age and the league-wide phasing-out of the fullback position. If we get John Kuhn for as much as we paid him last year we are getting a steal.

I would like to thank my competence for winning me this argument, and I encourage those of you who call yourself “fans” to take the time open your eyes and understand the game as well as the statistics provided on a typical broadcast and typical sports websites. Please educate yourself so you can actually formulate a legitimate opinion.

You’re welcome,
Chris Moran

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  • Shane Dodd

    Amen my friend!

  • Icebowler

    OK, calm down. We’re not all idiots out here. One of the problems is that the Packers are running more and more of the hurry-up offense, meaning we can’t substitute a blocking FB on 3rd down. However, we do that mostly before the game is on the line in the 4th quarter. I hope that our other RB’s improve their pass pro skills this offseason, but I think we need to resign Kuhn just in case they don’t step it up. I previously wasn’t too worried that another team would make an offer to Kuhn, but now that Denver has lost Moreno, I’m worried that they might try. Get him signed.

  • Nick Rothschild

    “…it’s really just a bunch of morons sputtering out sentence fragments and using absolutely no logical analysis whatsoever. That’s easily the most infuriating thing in the world to me.”

    http://cover32.com/packers/2014/03/21/green-bays-burnt-bag-of-popcorn/

    http://cover32.com/packers/2014/03/07/m-d-jennings-in-the-worst-thing-ever/

    The majority of these articles (and your articles in general) are exactly what you claim to hate.