Top 5 ways to use Stan Kroenke’s $100,000 of prize money

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In case you’ve been living under a rock, the St. Louis Rams are offering a $100,000 prize to anyone that can correctly predict the team’s 2014 schedule. In order to win the grand prize, one must select the opposing team, location, and day of the week that each game will be played as well as factoring in a bye week. The odds of nailing the schedule perfectly are fairly astronomical, as hilariously laid out by ESPN’s Nick Wagoner, but still, ya gotta have hope! Give it a shot here and begin contemplating all the things you could do with that kind of scratch. Hmmmmm…

Diversify it among a mixture of stocks, bonds and real estate? RISKY.

Pay off your mountain of student loan or credit card debt? DUMB.

Donate it to charity? GET OFF MY TV, SARAH MCLACHLAN.

You won that money fair and square and, dammit, you deserve to treat yourself a little. With that said, here are the top five ways to show your massive Rams fandom with your contest winnings:

5. Re-make Nelly’s “Country Grammar” music video!

Maybe even put a Rams-specific spin on it! The song is coming up on its 15th anniversary, which means it’s a more-than-appropriate time to rejuvenate that St. Louis pride. Also, the team hasn’t had a badass Rams hype song since that Kid Rock Super Bowl cover from ’99. Think about it. This city needs its rallying cry and you are just the person to provide it. I can hear it now…

“Mmmmm well you can find ME, wearin’ blue and gold in the pub,

Hundred K on my check stub, seats in the Clarkson Jewelers Club…”

Or something equally terrible.

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