We click this page to honor our mercurial owner and, to show Mr. Daniel Snyder my unprecedented appreciation I composed a list of bittersweet memories since his inauguration in 1999.
They are salty. I’ve warned you.
Dear Mr. Snyder,
Thank you for our four playoff appearances. We lost to the Seattle Seahawks three painstaking times. We’re OK—as long as we are still able to rebuttal obnoxious Eagles fans when they claim their franchise is better. Ha. Use this one if you haven’t yet: Why does the Liberty Bell symbolize Philadelphia best? It has zero rings.
Thank you for Jimmy Zorn, what a great start. Thank you for overpaying Steve Spurrier. That Fun-and-Gun offense really, though—something special. Thank you for entrusting Al Saunders with our offense. Todd Collins’ glamorous 106.4 Quarterback Rating in 2007, sir, who could ever forget that spectacular four-game winning streak.
Thank you for your long-suffering. Brad Johnson and Dan Turk may have botched. …our lives…thank you for not re-signing him in 2001. Who needs a future Super Bowl champion quarterback, anyway?
Thank you. For this list that made us squeamish every Sunday: Jason Campbell, Dan Wuerffel, Tony Banks, Shane Matthews, Jeff George, Todd Husak, [gasp] Patrick Ramsey, Mark Brunell, and Donovan McNabb.
In Snyder We Trusted.
Thank you for acquiring Adam Archuleta. Awesome contributor. Thank you for hiring the right guys. Mr. Marty Schottenheimer and Norv Turner turned out to be beasts after they left the Nation’s Cap.
Thank you, Mr. Snyder, for Albert Haynesworth.
We appreciate everything that you have done for the past 15 years! We will stay positive—or numb— for the next 35 seasons, or however long you’ll retain ownership.
On the behalf of Redskins Nation, could you lower the Dasani water bottle and/or beer prices at FedEx? The least you could do for these salty memories is to quench our thirsts at an affordable fee.
“Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime.”
Anne Isabella Thackeray Ritchie