Seattle Seahawks quarterback Russell Wilson recently filed for a divorce from his wife Ashton. I don’t know what it’s like to be married but I do know that breaking up is never easy. Sometimes you end up hanging out with just about anybody, even people you don’t really like, just because you don’t want to be alone.
Everyone is knocking on Wilson’s door now, from every woman in the Pacific Northwest to celebrities and heads of state. He might be confused as to who his real friends are. I think that’s probably what’s going on here because over the weekend Mr. Wilson went to church and then bowling with the worst human being on the planet, Justin Bieber.
— Justin Bieber (@justinbieber) May 5, 2014
Look I get it. Wilson is keeping himself busy, which is important when you’re going through a breakup or divorce, but this is too much. Remember what happened when Drake visited the Seahawks? The team immediately went into a slump and missed clinching the NFC West three weeks in a row. And as phony and awful as Drake is, Justin Bieber is so, so, so much worse.
Bieber wears the team gear of whoever is winning at the moment. He says things like “swag” with a straight face. He has entirely too much money and needs to get his ass beaten more than any boy alive. Wilson can do better. He must do better.
I don’t want Justin Bieber rubbing off on our quarterback, so I’ll say this once. You stay away from Mr. Wilson, douchebag. You stay FAR away.
And Russell, no amount of church is going to fix that kid. Unless it’s the kind of church where they beat the crap out of little punks who have entirely too much money and get famous too young. Before you step onto the field again hose yourself down and make sure you get all the Bieber off.