Racist tree charged with disorderly conduct


Buffalo sure had it’s fair share of negative press this past week. First, an alleged drag race between Jerry Hughes and Marcel Dareus led to charges filed against Marcel Dareus, marking his second time in a month that he has had a run-in with the law. Also another individual by the name of Janelle Ambrosia made her rounds on YouTube after a racist rant in front of a Cheektowaga Dollar General. I what would seem like no coincidence at all, Janelle Ambrosia and the tree are cousins, both sharing the same racial view points.

After a racist rant in the Mongolian Buffet, the tree, who’s name has not been released to the public, was thrown out of the restaurant by owners, where he drunkenly stumbled towards the street. As he saw Marcel Dareus driving by the racist tree started another outburst, causing the 2013 Pro Bowl Defensive Tackle to lose control of his 2012 Jaguar and resulting in him striking the tree. The story immediately shifted to Marcel Dareus, who was already on a short leash by the Buffalo Bills front office, with no focus or blame whatsoever being shifted to the tree. Later on in the day when a Hamburg police officer, who happened to be of Middle Eastern decent, was questioning the owner of the Mongolian Buffet she found out what had happened seconds before and turned her attention to questioning the tree who had refused to leave the scene of the crime until a medical professional cleared him. The racist tree went on another tirade towards the officer, making racially charged comments as well as sexist remarks towards her.

The tree was immediately arrested for disorderly conduct and taken to the local jail where he was questioned and printed. He was said to have gone on another rant at the station where he claimed that the entire race of trees was being misrepresented by the Ticket Oak in the StubHub commercials. He was thrown into a holding cell until his uncle, Donald Sterling wired his goddaughter, Janelle Ambrosia bail money.

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I tried to get a comment from the tree as he was leaving the station, however the only comments I received were insults toward my Italian heritage. A trial date has not been set.

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