Jun
19
2014
First and 10
By
109820 views
50 comments

Momentum is building for the Washington Redskins to change their nickname, to the point where it now seems like an inevitable conclusion. Dan Snyder and Company almost assuredly know that, which is why they’ve registered Bravehearts as a possible new moniker for the franchise.

But there are plenty of other teams who could use a facelift. Two weeks ago, the editors at cover32 used their weekly Power Rankings to rate each of the 32 teams nicknames; for various reasons, they pointed out which ones were good and which ones were bad.

Today, it’s time to take it to the next level. Saying something isn’t up to snuff is the easy part; coming up with a better alternative takes some brainpower.

So with that in mind, here are 10 teams other than the Redskins who need a new nickname, plus a suggestion for a better moniker:

***

10. Buffalo Wings

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The most-popular thing to ever come out of Buffalo

The Bills have shown a penchant for wanting to use their city name as a means of creating a play on words, which is fine. But it’s definitely time to update the pop-culture reference. Entire generations of football fans no longer know anything about Buffalo Bill Cody. Nor do they understand the “Buffalo Nickels” reference that the team once considered. But everyone gets how Buffalo and Wings go together; so it’s time to update the silliness.


9. Arizona Scorpions

scorpion-in-desert

Arizona needs to tap into the desert surroundings

The Cardinals is a nickname that has been attached to the franchise for nearly 100 years, traveling with it from Chicago to St. Louis to Phoenix. So plenty of people will say that the team needs to stick with tradition; that’s a bunch of hooey. Cardinals doesn’t make any sense given where the team is located. But naming them after the most-venomous scorpions in North America – the Arizona bark scorpion – is perfect.


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Comments
  1. Anonymous

    Some good ideas. Really like the scorpions and mustangs. Hammerheads is decent. I don’t care for the sailors, racers or stingers at all. Cobras and/or Vipers would be great team names. Ooh, the Los Angeles Vipers!

    • What’s these prole at cover 32 sit around and smoke pot, most post to better the team they like ,not the facts, I wish I could get on here check the news on my team, and not have see these retards, crap

  2. Doug Casper

    I thought, “the Warriors” would work! They could keep their current logo, and if I remember correctly… Young Indian men were referred to as “Braves” or “Warriors” according to old cowboy, and Indian TV shows, and movies. Washington Warriors, got a nice ring to it… IMO!

  3. Rich Weilacher

    A group of baboons is called a congress. Washington:Congress – The Washington Baboons. Perfect name.

  4. the Racers was/is a nickname used by our minor league hockey team.(see Wayne Gretzky) but i do agree colts has the ring of baltimore to it

  5. Ridiculous article for sure these names sounding la lot like Arena Football names Stupid names not NFL… get out of here!

  6. saqhongva

    stick with nick names of the area/state wildlife i.e. scorpions, sidewinders, lobos, wranglers, arpios……….

  7. wow what a stupid article Tennessee wranglers for cattle ranching hate to burst your bubble writer there is very little to any cattle ranching in tenn. live here I know ,and if you did come to Nashville you would see the replica of the pantheon in Greece it was named the Athens of the south for its beauty so really man get a life and pick up a book and don’t comment on things you have no clue about derp.

    • It’s the Parthenon. The Pantheon is in Rome, Italy. The nickname also came from Nashville’s culture, not just the beautiful area.

      • jeff makes me laugh

        Love it, GMB. The irony of this dolt dissing the writer while identifying his city’s replica structure as the PANTHEON… it’s just too much!

        And it just gets worse from there. Wikipedia only mentions cattle for the state of Tennessee three times:

        “Poultry, soybeans, and cattle are the state’s primary agricultural products,”
        “Major outputs for the state include textiles, cotton, cattle, and electrical power.”
        “Tennessee has over 82,000 farms, roughly 59 percent of which accommodate beef cattle.”

        So, yeah. I guess he’s pretty much spot on that Tennessee has “very little cattle ranching.”

        And he still has the gall to suggest that the writer, “pick up a book and don’t comment on things you have no clue about derp.” I just can’t stop chuckling at the genius he displays. And yes, he actually used the word, derp.

        A product of the fine tradition of eduction throughout the South, no doubt.

        Representing your state so well, jeff with a small j.

        • Titans Fan

          Not to defend jeff in any way (probably couldn’t if I wanted to, dumb is dumb no matter what part of the country you’re from), but cattle farming is not as prominent in TN as the Wikipedia article would have you believe. There are ranches, but they are located and pooled together in isolated parts of the state. Out of the 90 plus counties in the state, maybe four of them contain cattle ranches. It’s just not something that is widely associated with the entire state. Renaming the Titans the Wranglers would be like naming every team in California after the film industry, despite the film industry being primarily located in Los Angeles.

          • ” If stupidity were painful, then the Authors of this Post and many contributors would have to be on a morphine drip ! “

  8. Raider Arlin

    10 NFL teams have new proposed nicknames, are the Oakland Raiders one?
    | cover32 – Raiders. This was the title of the article on the Fox Sports Raiders page. The answer is no. Neat little trick to get me to click on the article. Not falling for it again. In fact, I may just avoid Cover 32 all together. Wasted effort to even come here with stupid stunts like this.

  9. Randy La Motte

    I like the Arizona Rattlers as a proposed name. Goes well with the Diamondbacks. Or possibly the Arizona Mojave’s as the Mojave is the baddest of the bad as far as snakes go in our state. Phoenix Vipers is cool too.

  10. How can this article ignore the two most ridiculous relocated names — Los Angeles Lakers and Utah Jazz?

  11. While we are changing names, how about……………………………………..the COVER 32 nut jobs

  12. What about RED DEVILS? The people who are trying to change the name will certainly go to hell where they belong!

  13. To the moron writing this article… calling out Bud Adams for naming his team the Titans because it sounded important is VERY VERY inaccurate and wrong on your part. Nashville is the sister to city to Athens and it’s something we take pride in. That’s EXACTLY why he named the team the Titans. You obviously have never visited the Parthenon in the Vanderbilt District or the Shakespeare festival being held there in the spring along with many other historical festivals related to Athens and Greece. Get your information straight amature.

    • Excuse me, Zack. But did you just include the “Shakespeare festival” as one of the “historical festivals related to Athens and Greece?

      Really?

      I can only assume that it has been mentioned to you at some point in your life that the Shakespeare, for which all known Shakespeare festivals are named, was not a product of Athens, nor Greece.

      Nor are Shakespeare festivals typically the kinds of things one first thinks about when choosing to describe a major metropolitan area, as they are most commonly held in backwaters, boonies, and “no places in particular” all across these great United States.

      But perhaps your Turkey legs on a stick are much finer than all those other festivals?

      You and “jeff” from earlier in this comments thread should probably get together to compare notes, then take those notes and burn them – as they have no basis in reality.

      But do enjoy your many festivals!

  14. Onbe last thing… I’ve lived in TN for over 10 years now and I’ve never once seen a single cattle ranch like what you claim is one of TN’s. Stop pulling stuff from out of thin air… thank you.

  15. Zack, before you go around calling people morons and telling them to get their information straight, you mentioned the Shakespeare festival. Shakespeare was British, not Greek…………..

  16. Carolina native

    Perfect example of why you should your research before you write an article. The Carolinas had native panther species many years ago, however they are now extinct. Many locals have reported spotting of the animals. so….CAROLINA PANTHERS is a PERFECT name….GO PANTHERS!

  17. Titans Fan

    I’ve lived in TN my entire life (38 years now), and I can count on one hand exactly how many cattle ranches I’ve seen. I’m afraid the author must have confused us for Texas or Montana or some other state more commonly associated with “Wrangling.” The Titans nickname comes from Nashville being called the Athens of the South. Titans makes a lot more sense than a name like The Wranglers, which would have no association with the culture or history of TN. As Carolina Native stated above, the author should probably do more research than just looking up the state on Wikipedia.

    • I’m a Titans fan and Tennessee native as well. Yea, Buck Stanton is an idiot. Titans was not a name chosen, solely, by Bud Adams. It was voted on for several months in the middle Tn area. It IS part of the culture here and I understand you are only trying to stir-up comments for your ratings. From now on, when I see your name on an article, I wont waste my time. It was poorly written by an ill-informed dumbass.

  18. The name for the colts, you mentioned the racers. If you would of done your homework, the old IHL International Hockey League had a team called the Indianapolis Racers. So you didn’t do your homework. Nice try.

  19. I’d change the Washington Redskins to the Washington Warriors…this is a great name and still maintains their Native American image.

  20. I thought this article was going to be serious: Like the Vikings, Buccaneers, Raiders, and Cowboys.

  21. Anonymous

    NO!!! Arizona scorpions?? That sounds retarded and the uniforms would look stupid. And just for your information the state of Arizona does have Cardinals mostly in the northern region and I have seen some in the Phoenix area. Besides Cardinal fans want their team to be the Cardinals and nothing else so take you bs article and shove it tell you do some research!!!

  22. All you people are A-HOLES that think any team needs to change their name because we live in a society of over sensative pussies. Grow the “F” up already!!!

    • patrick.green

      totally agree with terry nobody had a fucking problem saying REDSKINS till all this happend. So if you support the redskins name change then you should be screaming for the state of oklahoma to change their name which means “land of the red people”. If you dont see a problem with that as well then your a fucking retard!! Plain and simple.

  23. Let’s forget about political correctness and think about what these teams are going to do this year. My gosh! Fifth graders could come up with a better subject to talk about. A team name while most have some historical significants, why don’t we just leave things the way they are. If everyone is so offended by the name, than why wasn’t there something done about it at their inception? I suppose political correctness feels it is it’s duty to infringe on the mindset of those who came before us. After all, don’t we always have the right answer? Yah right!