Tonight the ESPY awards are airing on ESPN, where the best athletes in the world mingle with movie stars. We all tune in to bask in the glory of the most popular people in the world. Basically it’s a lot like high school. You remember high school.
The excitement of having new freedoms and making new friends, the angst of dating, acne, popularity contests, cliques. Homecoming. The prom.
If you ever want to take a stroll down memory lane and remember what those times were like all you need to do is take out your high school year book. You can marvel at your ridiculous haircut and the immature things you and your friends wrote on the inside cover. Best of all is the yearbook awards, predicting who will be the most successful, who will end up marrying whom, and so on.
We decided to hand out some awards of our own. Here’s how we think the Chicago Bears 2014 year book would look like.
Prom king – Michael Ford
He may be number two on the depth chart behind Matt Forte, but he’s number one in our hearts. Michael Ford has an easy smile that looks like it belongs in a toothpaste commercial. If this were high school, Ford would be the guy losing more phone numbers than you could even collect.
Least likely to become President – Jay Cutler
The thing about ascending to the highest office in the land is that people have to like you. Pundits and analysts call it “likeability,” and whether or not you think Jay would make a good commander in chief, the fact is he just doesn’t have it.