Top-5 St. Louis Rams promotions that don’t exist but should

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It was announced recently that the Rams October 19th contest against the Seahawks will feature one of the more outstanding giveaways in recent memory. Drawing on this particular sack celebration, the team will offer Robert Quinn “Bernie” bobbleheads to the game’s first 15,000 fans, according to the team’s web site.

For me, the Bernie is still hilarious and is one of my go-to dances at weddings (I am proudly one of those guys), so count me among those excited to get a figure of my own. Click the link to the team site to view the other promotions in store for the season, but in light of the Quinn bobble, I thought I’d offer up a top five of other outside-the-box ideas. Let’s get started.

5. Black Lightning/White Thunder Umbrella!

By now you all know that early last season Quinn dubbed himself and pass rushing partner Chris Long “The Thunder Storm.” Under that moniker, Quinn plays the role of “Black Lightning” to Long’s “White Thunder.” Well, in the laziest of my five ideas (I’m on a time crunch!), the Rams could roll out some team umbrellas emblazoned with the likenesses of “The Thunderstorm” duo on top. It’s like a real life pun! I think.

4. Greg Zuerlein “Legatron” transformer!

A quick Google image search revealed this photoshopped gem from Turf Show Time’s Brandon Bate that features Zuerlein’s dome cropped on top of the villainous Transformer Megatron’s robot body. I’m not saying the Rams should go this route and create an action figure of this likeness. In fact, I have no idea what I’m saying. Sounds cool though!

3. Tavon Austin Swiss Army Knives!

Knives! Let’s give everyone knives! If you’re like me, you’re always willing to look past a stabbing or two if there’s a creative marketing tie-in at stake. This is one of those occasions.

2. Chris Long %Defense sign!

In getting into my two favorite and most realistic promotional giveaway ideas, anyone who follows Twitter king Chris Long is undoubtedly familiar with his percent sign advocacy in favor of the site’s infamous hashtag.

In that vein, it’d be hilarious and uniquely St. Louis for the team to shell out some of the traditional DE-FENSE fan signs with a percent sign up front. %MakeThisHappen.

1. Laurinaitis squeeze spray!

My other favorite idea is a play on defensive stalwart James Laurinaitis’ entrance routine. In a nod to his famous father, Laurinaitis takes the field with a showy routine that culminates with an upward misty spray of water. The Rams are giving away Laurinaitis figures this season actually (Dec. 21st vs. NYG), but my spin on it is to make it a squeeze figure in that linked pose that sprays mist into the air. If you can make it dance beforehand, even better. %MakeItHappen.

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